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As if I'd really sell them - they're of too much practical value as the butt of many jokes (i.e. as scapegoats).
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Congrats to Irish & English fellows for the 6 nations as a start...
Now I need to refresh my tongue. Master Barliman ? please bring me a strong one this time.
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I'll bring you a strong two.
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With Mrs Milo, this is a very special day for us. 
Please Master Barliman, bring your best Champagne to this table ! Here is the golden thing.
Cheers ! 
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Aren't we all.
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huoommm .... ? ... now what? ... somehow I'm afraid that our dear barkeep has learned from a tree .... rhuooommm ... he doesn't haste any more ... hommm ... you know what? ... that's good for him in the ent ... hooomm ... though, as for us ... ahem, we'll, see ... that's not what I really intended ... hoommm ... sorry ... so, in the ent, what can we do except keep waiting and not being impatient, not trying to urge haste ... rhuoommm ... you know what I mean ...hooommm
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I do hope the golden thing Master Milo is offering isn't ring-shaped... I've had enough of that sort of thing in the Pony to last a lifetime - well, my lifetime at least, though it would mean a much longer time for an ent no doubt..
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Huoommm ... well ... while waiting, Master Barliman, I just think that our Master Milo has simply forgotten to bring us that what he calls "best Champangne" to the bar ... rhuoommm ... what ever liquid might be hidden behind that name .... huoomm ... I dunno ... rhuom ... alas, we're good in sitting and contemplating and not being hasty at all ... rhuoommm ...
hmmmmrhhuoommmmmm ... golden ring ... yes, reminds me of something ... err, not the one that caused you troubles inside and outside your premises ... ? ... no. that one it's not again, Master Barliman ... huommm ... I'm sure ... rhuoommm ... we've been all through that ... huom.
anyway ... let's wait until Master Milo shows up to serve us with that liquid he seems to value most ... rhuoomm ... I'm afraid there'll be no rat-tails in it .... huoommm rhuom? .. hom
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But of course there will. It's them that give my drinks their unique flavour. Hmmmm. Do I mean "unique", or is there some other word that describes the flavoue better? (Patrons to write their suggestions on the back of beer-mats, and I'll read them later.)
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I have heard some complaints too much of this"unique" scrumpy has made them into a eunuch.
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Not true at all. That only happens if they get so drunk they fall over and the wargskin rugs attack them, but the rugs have been very quiet lately.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASTER TREE hoooomroooooooooom
One old song from homeland of Master J.R.R. Tolkien for you.... Cheers !
"A Tree Song"
OF all the trees that grow so fair,
Old England to adorn,
Greater are none beneath the Sun,
Than Oak, and Ash, and Thorn.
Sing Oak, and Ash, and Thorn, good sirs,
(All of a Midsummer morn!)
Surely we sing no little thing,
In Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!
Oak of the Clay lived many a day,
Or ever AEneas began.
Ash of the Loam was a lady at home,
When Brut was an outlaw man.
Thorn of the Down saw New Troy Town
(From which was London born);
Witness hereby the ancientry
Of Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!
Yew that is old in churchyard-mould,
He breedeth a mighty bow.
Alder for shoes do wise men choose,
And beech for cups also.
But when ye have killed, and your bowl is spilled,
And your shoes are clean outworn,
Back ye must speed for all that ye need,
To Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!
Ellum she hateth mankind, and waiteth
Till every gust be laid,
To drop a limb on the head of him
That anyway trusts her shade:
But whether a lad be sober or sad,
Or mellow with ale from the horn,
He will take no wrong when he lieth along
'Neath Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!
Oh, do not tell the Priest our plight,
Or he would call it a sin;
But - we have been out in the woods all night,
A-conjuring Summer in!
And we bring you news by word of mouth-
Good news for cattle and corn-
Now is the Sun come up from the South,
With Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!
Sing Oak, and Ash, and Thorn, good sirs
(All of a Midsummer morn):
England shall bide ti11 Judgment Tide,
By Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!
Hooooomrhommmmmmmmmm ! 
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Ah, always good to hear a bit of Kipling in the morning. And sing hurrah for the Tree!
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happy birthday theo!
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HO, HO I sing this song too. Absulutely great Master Thingol!
Congratulation to our wisest tree. Happy Birthday!
Let´s have a round of drinks here . . .
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Happy Birthday to you Master Ent! May your roots never fail and be summer upon you all year long!

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Happy Birthday, Master Tree!!!! 
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Happy birthday dear friend! May your leaves always grow green and strong!
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Happy Birthday Master Ent !
And here is the Champagne you were waiting for !
I will sing also with everyone.
Santé !
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Habby Bibrshdeey .... mastrer treey.... hick!!! uups! (Iiiiii think that I've drungk toooo mushhh ofsh thesh ent-droguths this morgningg.... Aldought, I feel myslefv funny!!) hurray Theobald!!!
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Happy Birthday, Master Ent!
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(Don't forget to put it on his tab...)
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